|Driving Miss Dalia|
|Season 1, Episode 10|
|Date Aired:||January 4, 2012|
Out in the Burbs
"Driving Miss Dalia" is the tenth episode of season one, it aired on January 4, 2012.
Tessa is taking the one test that every teen dreads: the driver's test. Not surprisingly, Dalia has failed her driver's test seven times and hopefully she'll never pass. Let's be honest, Chatswin would be a much scarier place with Dalia on the open road. Tessa, on the other hand, passes her test on the first try. When Dalia learns about Tessa's newfound freedom, she approaches her in a rhinestone-studded neck brace with a simple request: $100 to be chauffeured around. Tessa reluctantly agrees and soon discovers why Dalia really wants to be driven around. His name is Scott Strauss. Who is Scott Strauss? He’s only the hottest guy in the world. He's even hotter than Jesus - the pool guy who works for the Royces.
Dalia makes Tessa circle his house over and over again with no intention of actually seeing him. She gets her fill just by stalking him. All is going fine until Tessa accidentally hits the car in front of her. Guess who she happens to hit? Hint: He's the hottest guy in the world. Dalia uses this blessing in disguise to bribe Tessa into asking him out on a date for her. Tessa obliges for the small price of $50.
While Tessa is held prisoner to Dalia's tyrannical ways, George is living the high life with Noah's guest pass at the country club. When the pass expires, George decides to take the plunge and buy an overpriced membership of his own. To do this, he only needs two pre-existing member to sponsor him. Should be easy, right? To George’s surprise, it’s Noah who refuses to sponsor him. From there on it’s an all-out brawl between George and Noah, literally because they wrestle each other naked in the steam room in the most awkward scene of the century. It wasn't all for nothing though, because George gets his way. That is until he learns that he’s been denied admission into the club because he's been "dinged" and "once you've been dinged you can't be undung." Basically, that means someone told the Country Club board to not accept him as a member.
Of course we all think it's Noah, but apparently Noah is just full of surprises. He went out of his way to get George the family membership card. So who dinged George? We learn it was Joceyln, the girl from the country club. There's a strict rule against employees dating country club members and Joceyln couldn’t live with that.
Right before Tessa drives Dalia and Scott on their first date, Tessa learns the truth about Scott Strauss. We learn he's actually beautiful both inside and out. He spent the last year volunteering in Zambia. That's even more foreign than New York City! Suddenly Scott just got a lot more appealing. And get this, while Tessa is dropping the couple off at a restaurant, Scott leans over to Tessa and whispers, "You know the only reason I went on this date with Dalia was to spend more time with you." Talk about a surprise ending! Tessa is smitten with the idea of it, but her conscious get the best of her and she decides she shouldn't pursue Scott. After all, Dalia really likes him and they had actually just started becoming “friends”. It would be a shame to something so horrible to Dalia so early on in their friendship. When Tessa comes clean Dalia is just livid. She accuses Tessa of stealing Scott and it looks like it’s going to be a beyotch of mess from here on out.
At least Tessa can continue to see Scott without feeling guilty. Now every time she kisses sweet Scott’s lips, she can think of Dalia… sort of.
- Jeremy Sisto as George Altman
- Jane Levy as Tessa Altman
- Carly Chaikin as Dalia Royce
- Rex Lee as Mr. Wolfe
- Allie Grant as Lisa Shay
- Alan Tudyk as Noah Werner
- Cheryl Hines as Dallas Royce
- Arden Myrin as Jocelyn
- Thomas McDonell as Scott Strauss
- Hayes MacArthur as Walter
- Jack Walsh as Marty Krupp
- Chris Parnell as Fred Shay
- Abbie Cobb as Kimantha
- Kara Pacitto as Kenzie
- Katelyn Pacitto as Kaitlin
- Edward Padilla as Javier
- Leah Ficarola as Dental Patient
Pigeon John, Hey you - Tessa rear ends Scott Strauss. Gogol Bordello, 60 Revolutions - A man fight in the steam room.