|Character Name:||Dalia Royce|
|Dallas Royce (mother), Steven Royce (father)|
Dalia Royce is the person you would get if you took a girl like Tessa and shaved off a dozen or so I.Q. points, gave her an obsession with gossip, dating, texting, shopping, beauty products, and wired her knowledge with Sugar Free Red Bull. She's lived in the lap of luxury her entire life and it couldn't be clearer. Her clothes, her car (which she dillnesses when deprived from their natural habitat, including the Gentoo penguin, and to comment, Dalia raises her hand and states that she hates birds. In "The Chatterer", it is revealed she is close friends with a group of other blonde popular students, "The KKK" - Kenzie, Kaitlin and Kimantha. She apparently was also peers with Misty. She has a pet horse named Cashmere ("Thanksgiving").baiiiiiii
She is lactose intolerant, so she gets a bad case of gas when she eats cheese and possibly when she has clam chowder, as remarked by Dallas and later Tessa in "Don't Call Me Shirley".
In "Don't Call Me Shirley," Dalia also states that she felt it was "tragic" that the only makeup Tessa owns was purchased from a drugstore, though Tessa quips that it is also "tragic" for Dalia to load her eyelashes up with so much mascara that she can hardly blink. Dalia insists she can blink and attempts to do so, though she actually cannot.
Dalia's first appearance is in "Pilot", as the role of the school's queen bee. She is assigned to be Tessa's "buddy" - a new student's mentor, a job that also involves extra credit points - by, Mr. Wolf, the guidance counselor. Dalia instead texts throughout Tessa's entire tour of Chatswin High School. Dalia has her eyes glued to the screen of her cell phone as she and Tessa pass through the highlights of the school - glee club, the school's only black student, the cafeteria and most importantly, the handful of girls who recently got plastic surgery performed on their noses. Later, when Tessa is in the handicapped stall later than day during lunch period, Dalia and a group of girls corner Lisa Shay outside of the stall and pick on her.
Later, it is shown just how spoiled she is, as her room has a light-up cabinet stocked with nail care products, makeup, tanning solutions, hair extensions, jewelry, a large canopy bed, an entire bureau just for denim pants, and a king-sized shoe closet with a school carosuel, segregated between mules, flats and wedges.
Then, Dallas picks up Tessa so her, Dalia, Dallas and George go to the mall where Dalia and Tessa try on matching pink outfits, complete with furry vests and bejewled goggles. In the dressing room while the two stand before the mirror, Dalia shows one tiny gleam of sympathy for Tessa, saying, "So lame your mom died, beeyotch." Later, while Dallas is speaking to Tessa outside of the changing room, Dalia is happily pushing her breasts together and looking how the ensemble looks at different angles.
In "The Barbeque", it is revealed that Dalia shares the same biology class as Tessa. She raises her hand and informs the entire class she strongly dislikes birds after their biology teacher mentions the Gentoo penguin. Later, it is shown she is in Ryan Shay's circle of popular peers. She comes to the Shay's house in the middle of their dinner with the Altmans along with several other popular students. Later, Sheila sends Tessa and Lisa to the Shay's bottom-floor rec room. Dalia participates in the game of Truth or Dare with Ryan and his friends. She dares Ryan to "kiss the lesbian", meaning Tessa. Tessa insists she is not a part of their game, though Dalia challenges her ("You are [playing Truth or Dare] now, beeyotch!") Ryan and Tessa kiss, and later Dallas informs George that Dalia told her that Tessa and Ryan hit first base, which worries George.
In "The Chatterer," Dalia is shown to be one of the school's rather gossipy students, as she loaded Malik and Tessa up on juicy stories to publish in the latest edition of The Chatsman Chatterer. Her stories include a girl who is skinny, though she has fat knees; the school's track star, Terry, losing his virginity to the captain of the cheerleading squad, Stacey Unger (who has a bad case of cellulite); and later that Lisa Shay is a thumb-sucker, as she slipped Malik a photo she secretly took of Lisa resting her head on a table while sucking on her thumb in the library.
In "Don't Call Me Shirley," Dalia stands up in the middle of Chatswin's cafeteria, announcing that Tessa (whom she refered to only as somebody who had recently moved from "New York, New York...New York"). Later in the episode, her and Dallas barge into the Altman's house and insist they stay there, rather than staying in their "professionally decorated" home because after the theft of Sheila Shay's Shirley Temple dolls, they feel they are not safe. Later, Dalia claims she feels "claustrophobic" and "sticky" in the house because it is so "cozy" (a word suburbanites use when something is small) and the cheesy pizza doesn’t sit well in her stomach so she ends up farting the whole night. Dalia even "sleeps like a bitch" (remarked by Tessa) because as Dalia tossed around in Tessa's bed, she murmered, "You can't sit here, it's the popular table." The next day, Dalia and Tessa plot out a plan, which involves Dalia claiming Tessa to be the prime suspect for the doll theft in Mr. Wolf's ear-shot.
In "Halloween", Lisa's flashbacks show Misty strutting through the hallways along with her popular peers, all dressed in velour sweat suits - which included Dalia, Kenzie, Kaitlin and Kimantha. Later, the foursome inform Tessa that before "hoe [Misty] just died" and she she became humorous, constantly using the word "redonk". When Tessa uses the word herself, they giggle at her, which leads Lisa and Malik to believe Misty possesed Tessa, as Misty turned funny before she disappeared.
In "Charity Case", Dalia, along with Kaitlin, Kenzie and Kimantha, dumps her untouched lunch into the garbage can. The four of them instead feast on a breath mint, and after Dalia digests her mint, she feels "bloated" and has to "burn off" the five calories in the mint she just consumed by walking around the cafeteria. Later, in the audotorium after Tessa's presentation about waste of cafeteria food with the cartoon bears, during the question/comment window, Dalia rises and Tessa calls on her. Dalia starts to explain a needy cause that she once witnessed herself when she walked out of the hotel she was staying in while vacationing in Orlando. The needy cause happened to be the locals of Orlando - the "suffering". Their skin is oily and sunburnt. Their hair is naturally frizzed out by the humidity. She thinks instead of feeding the homeless people who are suffering from starvation, instead they should donate a supply of clarisonic face brushes to the locals of Orlando. Everybody, including Mr. Wolf, agrees with Dalia's idea. Later, Dalia is seen when Gladys visits the school. Then, her and her mother visit the Altman's to gift them with worthless gadgets and appliances from the shopping network, Dalia pulls a tube of lip gloss she shoplifted from the mall out of her bra and gives it to Tessa because it was the wrong color.
In "Sweet Sixteen," Dallas puts Dalia to the job of planning Tessa's Sweet Sixteen at the Chatswin Country Club. Dallas has Dalia do this so she can prove to Stephen that Dalia can get a well-paying job in her future, even though she failed her carrer aptitude test. Dalia later invites Tessa over to her house. The two girls sit down on Dalia's bed and discuss ideas for Tessa's birthday party. Dalia tells Tessa to hold on and she quickly grabs an eyeliner pencil not to jot down ideas with but to scratch a back itch with. Tessa suggests she should have a rooftop barbeque party like one her old peer from New York had. Dalia then channels out all of Tessa's ideas and decides to make the party her own by completing it with a mixture of ponies, giant snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, lasers, go-go dancers in cages, specialty mocktails called "Tessa-tinis" and fire breathers. Later, she takes Tessa shopping for her perfect sweet sixteen dress. She refuses to let Tessa try on any of the dark brown dresses she selected, stating that "dirt brown is the color of dirt and it doesn't look good with your skin". Instead, she decides that she'll make Tessa try on a short white dress after she throws the brown dresses across the store. Tessa angrily fights on the white dress Dalia selected her, only to find out that it looks perfect on her, though she won't admit it aloud, as it will give Dalia the satisfaction of knowing that she is the fashion expert.
Later, Dalia appears at Tessa's birthday party, barking orders while clutching a clipboard with a Bedazzled Bluetooth chip attached to her ear. Tessa is angry at Dalia when she finds out that Dalia sent Malik and Lisa home, as they did not fit her vision of Tessa's party. Also, if the two came, the tent would overcrowd and that would be considered a “fire hazard.” Later, before Tessa flees her own birthday party, Dalia hands Tessa her cell phone and demands she takes a photo of her with Kaitlin, Kenzie and Kimantha. They all hold glasses of "Tessa-tini" and smile wide - their teeth rotted to a dark purple color. Tessa is about to warn them about their teeth, but holds her tongue and takes the picture anyways as her revenge to Dalia.
In "Thanksgiving", Dallas hires Dalia to "professionaly plan" their Thanksgiving dinner party after her extraordinary job at planning Tessa's sweet sixteen birthday party. So, as she remesices about how much last year's party sucked with "clumpy-ass mashed potatoes and pale flossed green beans", her father, with his shoes taken off, arrives home from one of his many business trips. He starts to question why Daddy's Little Girl is walking around the house with her shoes on. Dalia says her and Dallas don't really do that when he's not present. So, Stephen gifts her a cashmere winter blanket for her pet horse Cashmere and Dalia goes back to barking orders. Later, when guests arrive at the Royce's house, Dalia is seen in a provocative Pilgrim dress and asking the guests if they are "founders" or "feathers", to which Noah's daughter Jenna retorts is racist. During the dinner when everything is in a disarray, Dalia complains how much everybody suck at Thanksgiving.
Dalia has a minor role in "The Nutcracker". In this episode, the Royce family's flight to their skiing trip to Aspen was grounded due to the treacherous outdoor weather. Once they learn this, Dalia is seen in her skii gear and high-heels, announcing that she was going to be in her room. Yakult starts to trail after her and Dalia screams in Yakult's cute little puppy dog face that she better not follow her.
Dalia can be described as an air-headed, catty, wealthy, gossipy, conceited, sassy, stuck-up and mean-spirited, spoiled rotten teenage girl, which seems to be the normal stereotypical qualities sported by a suburban girl. Often, she seems unaware of basic facts since they don't have anything to do with fashion and gossip, including when she though "New York, New York" had an extra "New York" in it ("Don't Call Me Shirley"). Dallas has also mentioned that Dalia had failed her career aptitude test, which led Dallas to put Dalia to the job of planning Tessa's 16th birthday party. Apparently, she is so spoiled by Dallas that she was jealous when Dallas got Yakult and started smothering her, so she yells at Yakult that she wished she would drop dead out of envy.
Physical Appearance and StyleEdit
Dalia is tall (most likely due to her frequent wearing of stilettos) and slender with fair skin and has blue Zombie-eyes. She has very plump lips and usually shows no sign of emotion (the only time she does in "Pilot" is when her and her friends were picking on Lisa in the girl's room). She has very long, straight blonde hair. She wears tiny little outfits.
- "Are you a lesbian?" (Pilot)
- "Dalia: This would show off my belly ring." "Tessa: You know what that would also show off? Your vagina."
- "Those are lesbian boots." (Pilot)
- "Buddies are not your friends." (Pilot)
- "Bloating!" (Pilot)
- "So lame that your mom died, biotch." (Pilot)
- "Tessa: I know why your mom is doing this. It's because she feels sorry for me." "Dalia: No. She's doing it because she wants to screw your dad." "Tessa: Doesn't she screw your dad?" "Dalia: No!" (Pilot)
- "I'm buying this." (Pilot)
- "I hate birds." (The Barbeque)
- "Ryan - I dare you to kiss the lesbian." (The Barbeque)
- Tessa: "I'm not really playing." Dalia: "You are now, biotch!" (The Barbeque)
- "Well it was news to me when I say her fat knees." (The Chatterer)
- "This only started happening once somebody moved from New York, New York, New York." (Don't Call Me Shirley)
- "I feel claustrophobic." (Don't Call Me Shirley)
- "Drugstore makeup...Tragic." (Don't Call Me Shirley)
- "I can blink..." (Don't Call Me Shirley)
- "You can't sit here. This is the cool table." (Don't Call Me Shirley)
- "Well I hate ugly goodbyes - but, goodbye, ugly." (Don't Call Me Shirley)
- "Tessa: You don't want to spend time with me and I don't want to spend time with you either." "Dalia: And I want to spend you either." (Don't Call Me Shirley)
- "Are you going to fake a pregnancy? Kenzie faked a pregnancy last year to get out of earth science." (Don't Call Me Shirley)
- "Hoe just died. Sucks." (Halloween)
- "It's not food. It's garbage." (Charity Case)
- "I feel bloated." (Charity Case)
- Dalia: "Okay, so I was on vacation, right? So I stepped out of my hotel, and I saw things." Tessa: "What did you see?" Dalia: "Suffering. Endless suffering." (Charity Case)
- "We should sent them clarisonic face brushes. They're really good for your complexion, guys." (Charity Case)
- "You ate that rank meat." (Charity Case)
- "Here - I stole this from the mall. It's not my color." (Charity Case)
- "You have a veiny forehead." (Sweet Sixteen)
- "Yeah, I don't like any of those words." (Sweet Sixteen)
- "I was thinking we'll have a pony station where people can get their picture taken with a pony." (Sweet Sixteen)
- "So let's talk go-go cages." (Sweet Sixteen)
- "Hey, biotch! Time to go dress shopping." (Sweer Sixteen)
- "It's dirt blown. The color of dirt doesn't look good on people." (Sweet Sixteen)
- "I don’t care if the pony is tired, that thing is not going back to the farm." (Sweet Sixteen)
- "This music sucks." (Sweet Sixteen)
- "As you know, I am now a professional party planner and my mom wants me to professionally plan this party." (Thanksgiving)
- "Last year sucked. I'm talking clumpy-ass mashed potatoes and pale flossed green beans, Alan!" (Thanksgiving)
- "Hey dad. Gobble, gobble." (Thanksgiving)
- Stephen: "I thought we had a no shoe rule." Dalia: "Yeah, we don't really do that when you're not here." (Thanksgiving)
- Stephen: "Should I return the cashmere blanket I got for your horse Cashmere?" Dalia: "Daddy, you know Cashmere loves cashmere!" (Thanksgiving)
- "Oh my God, Yakult, drop dead! I wish you were never born!" (Thanksgiving)
- Dalia: "Founders or feathers?" Jenna: "You're racist." (Thanksgiving)
- "We get it, Jenna. You go to Brown." (Thanksgiving)
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