Chatswin High is a public high school located in Tessa's new town, Chatswin. It is obviously a school attended by children of upper middle class families, as Chatswin High has very nice and clean facilities, unlike stereotypical American high schools. Their school mascot is a Lab.The school's colors are maroon ad gold.
- Tessa Altman
- Lisa Shay
- Ryan Shay
- Dalia Royce
- Stacy Unger
- Josh Sherman
- Mr. Wolfe (Guidance Counselor)
- Mr. Siegel (Biology Teacher)
- Ms. Ainsley (Art Teacher)
- Ms. Evans (Poetry Teacher)
- Unnamed Girl's Gym Coach ("Don't Call Me Shirley")
- Unnamed Shop Teacher ("The Nutcracker")
Clubs and Extracurricular ActivitiesEdit
In "Pilot", Dalia and Tessa pass the glee club during Tessa's tour of Chatswin High. It is most likely a parody of the TV show Glee, as the members of the club include several jocks and cheerleaders and a a handicappable boy in a manual wheelchair. When we see the glee club, they are snapping in two rows.
In "Pilot", two girls wearing clothes in school colors pass by waving pom-poms. Dalia tells Tessa that, "They have team spirit," implying that the girls possibly might be members of the school's pep squad. Also, in "The Chatterer", it is mentioned that Kenzie was expected to perform a back handspring at a school pep rally, hinting that she may also be a part of the pep squad, though it might possibly imply that she is a cheerleader.
In "The Chatterer" while Mr. Wolf is introducing Tessa to the school's electives, he shows her the "day-training" class, where there are rows of nerdy-looking boys at computers with Bluetooth devices in their ears.
In "The Chatterer", another elective shown is the "flat-ironing" course, where girls are all stationed with flat-irons.
In "The Chatterer", we see that "The KKK" (Kenzie, Kaitlin and Kimantha) are members of the school's drama club, where they act out skits from romance plays, which actually seem to be real-life girl slaps. For example, during a sketch performed by the KKK, the three call eachother "skanks" and "whores" and fight about a boy and are about to quarrel into a bitch-slap.
Known as The Chatswin Chronicle, the school newspaper, is not read by any of the students nor faculty - instead it is used for the biology lab hamster to go to the bathroom on, to clean up vomit on the cafeteria floor and also, several copies are used to sturdy a table in the teacher's lounge. Malik is the writer of the paper and devotes all of his possible free time to do so. ("The Chatterer")
Varsity Track TeamEdit
It is mentioned in an article of the school newspaper in "The Chatterer" that the varsity track squad's star lost his virginity to a cheerleader, much to his own embarassment.
The cheerleading squad is mentioned several times, including in "The Chatterer" that the star of the boy's track team and head cheerleader had sex.
Medium Fan ClubEdit
Malik is the president of this club, where they meet on Wednesday nights to discuss and reanact scenes from the TV show Medium.
PTA (Parent-Teacher Association)Edit
Chatswin High has a moderately funded PTA which's president is Sheila Shay. Other members of the PTA include Dallas Royce, Deena Doogan, Connie Kisshell and Rhonda. The PTA apparently had another member named Joanne Junebock, though she had to depart from the PTA after she was locked behind bars for giving her daughter botox. In "The Chatterer", Dallas has to recruit new members for the PTA after Joanne was arrested, so George reluctantly took Joanne's place to prove to Sheila that he was a half decent parent. Apparently, the PTA organizies most school functions.
Unlike the public American high schools portrayed in movies and television shows, Chatswin High appears to have very nice, clean and sanitary facilities. Outside, they have a set of iron bleachers and a running track that goes around the football field. Inside, one hall is painted with a mural of empowering historical women. Chatswin High also has lockers down the hallways and several staircases.The school's cafeteria has it's own personal chef. It is noted by Tessa that the cafeteria serves very opulant foods such as tuna tartare.The drinking fountains in the hallways are said to offer a choice between sparkling and still water.